Creating a greater impact in my life

When I was told via text message that we were going to write about how I would apply our new theme Christ-centered Stewardship: Antidote to Financial Crisis to my life, I was frozen for a few seconds and my mind began to ponder while having a rendezvous with a blank page on Microsoft Word. I knew that it would have to sound personal so it took me an eternity to think of what I was going to write.
It has been eons since I had introspected and gave my inner self a little visit. It felt good for a while but something excruciatingly painful occurred as if my heart was filled with a gallon of my favorite Nestle Fruit Selection Yogurt when I was able to reach and walk down memory lane and was able to discover the heartbreaking truth that I was a better steward before than I am now. So I was saddened seeing how much I had changed.

I want to come clean this time. I know that there is a large possibility that anyone who would be tasked to write about this would most probably end up writing about how much they had become Superheroes to everyone who needed their help just so they would sound like the real stewards that they are expected to be.  But still, maybe what they are saying could be spot on - or almost, to say the least. But if it would be coming from me, it would be standing on the demarcation line between truth and falsehood. Don’t’ get me wrong, I’m not a bad person…I’m just human – I make mistakes.

I grew up being aware of the different social issues our world had been facing since time immemorial. I feel fortunate that I was not blinded and saw the world as a perfect place because if I did, I may have not valued my life or life per se for that matter.

Christianity made a great impact on my outlook in life. It is one of the most valuable things (unlike the very uncommon (sarcastically speaking) name my parents gave me) which I’ve never regretted to possess throughout my entire existence.

I was able to see the realities in life even at a young age with due thanks, of course, to humanitarian problems featured in one of the greatest inventions that reached the face of the planet – the television. Then again, seeing would still be of no value if we won’t do something about it. So I still owe a lot to what Christianity taught me for that was what urged me to aim for and to make a good difference, and to dream for a better life for the entire humanity which, for me, is now surrounded by vultures. And to that, I am eternally grateful.

Of all the flaws in our impaired world, it was poverty that struck me the most. It’s like an incurable epidemic which spreads rapidly. Homeless people starving, malnourished children and their almost-lifeless bodies lying in the streets is no laughing matter. No, I never laughed…I wept.

Having to belong to this life-loving community is an honor, and at the same time a responsibility, that I would forever keep. It is because I was blessed with this Christian perspective that I had lived my life having this deep compassion for the less-fortunate and financially and economically challenged people, hoping that one day, they too, will have their share of pleasure which most of us are enjoying right now. And I believe and am certain that I’m not dreaming alone.

Just like everyone else who have this big of a dream, I also reached a point where I felt all hopes are lost. I was too much in a hurry that my patience drained as fast as I wanted the change to happen. I got frustrated and lackadaisical that my hopeful heart went kaput. I didn’t stop caring though. But I guess that was also the problem.  I was too tired of doing more than that and not seeing the change I hoped for that I eventually got contented with just that…just caring.

I was too ambitious. I didn’t realize that I was trying to change the whole world in just a blink of an eye – which, I know now, is impossible.

I somehow knew that I needed a wake-up call, something that would remind me of that responsibility I said, once upon a time, that I wanted to keep forever– and I got it sooner than I had expected.
So just like everybody else who had reached that all-hopes-are-lost point, I changed back and regained optimism after I was texted…after I froze…after I pondered…and before I finally got to write a decent introduction.